Dickhouse: First Annual High Alpine On Borrowed Time Bonus Days Epic: Days 1 & 2

With all of these “Epic” stage races popping up like morning woods, I thought I should start my own. Stage race that is; the morning wood is out of my control. There’s the Trans-Sylvania Epic, Breck Epic, Ore 2 Shore, Pisgah Stage Race, BC Bike Race, La Ruta, TransAlp Challenge, etc. With neither the money, time, nor most importantly, foresight to attend any of these, I decided to create the High Alpine On Borrowed Time Bonus Days Mountain Bike Epic, or HAOBTBDMBE for short. It will have the prestige of longest title of any mountain bike epic race. It will also be different from the rest, in that it has no time frame, entry fee, or support. That’s right, it’s FREE! In addition to these attractive features, there are no rules other than riding your bike. The only race officials present will be grumpy Old Man Weather and his wife Mother Nature. The HAOBTBDMBE is currently going on, and will extend until grumpy Old Man Weather calls it. What separates this “Epic” from the rest is that cheating is allowed, and encouraged. You shall cheat winter as long as possible in the high country, as long as you evade the dubious race officials; patrons saints of the Church of the Frozen and Dead. For this reason, there is an element of elusory freedom; a rush that you can’t get anywhere else.

This week the HAOBTBDMBE kicked off with bright sunny skies and warm temps.

Days 1 & 2 both started at Kenosha Pass on 285, climbing up to Georgia Pass, then descending westward on the Colorado Trail to Tiger Road, up the West Ridge, then back. Day 1 stopped at the top of the west ridge, turned around and went back. Day 2 continued down almost to the bottom at Tiger Road, then turned around and headed back up to Georgia Pass, and back to Kenosha Pass. About 95 miles in 2 days, 100% singletrack, all on the Colorado Trail, all above 10k feet. I won. In fact, I saw a bunch of other winners out there as well. Both days were absolutely perfect fall days to be on a bike in the mountains.

Cool mountain streams.

Epic views.

Georgia Pass.

Buff.

There were golden runs through fiery shining aspen groves, singletrack descents so fast that your gonads run into hiding, so long that your hands will cramp and scream in arthritic fits, roots and rocks a plenty, lung-busting climbs, above tree-line views, thick nose-and-lung filling lush piney scents, and beautiful buff dirt singletrack. Actually, I think Mother Nature was on hand, but she was disguised as a beautiful angel of color and light. Actually, I’m pretty sure the bitch was riding on my back as I climbed the hour-long ascents up to Georgia pass. So as it goes, I will be running for the mountains to continue the HAOBTBDMBE every chance I get until the Old Man calls it a year. I suggest you and yours sign up and attend this “Epic” event.